I found that out when he was barely a bump in the tummy. The new parents to be may ask for input regarding naming baby, what color should the nursery be, should we buy a new 4 and 1 crib or use the one that we found at a garage sale? Breast milk or formula? Those are questions that friends and family often throw their two cents worth in for. It's funny now as I'm typing this, that the examples that I gave in that sentence were real life questions she asked and she didn't take my advice on any of them.
- What should we name the baby? I thought Jack was a good name, it is a good strong name and both sides of his family had someone named Jack who meant alot to them. She chose Hayden (I love Hayden, but it's very trendy and wasn't my choice).
- What color should the nursery be? I was remodeling the house at the time just to get ready for baby and turned the formal living/dining into a small suite for them. I thought the room should have been painted a neutral color and then added the accent pieces for the theme of the nursey. Nope, that didn't happen either, his room is painted with 2 walls white and the 3rd wall (main wall) is dark chocolate brown and white stripes with pistachio green curtains and bedding. It's cute, just not what I would have chosen. Plus when they decide to paint over that brown wall it's going to be a bitch to cover!
- Should we buy the new 4 and 1 crib? You know the crib that converts to a toddler bed, then a twin bed and then a full size bed. This type of bed grows with your child. I thought that would be a nice thing to have and would last forever. She ended up with a regular crib that was purchased at an auction. It's a very nice crib, and a very expensive well made brand. But when he's two and ready for a toddler bed, the crib goes in the attic or garage and the toddler/twin bed needs to be purchased.
- For the last question, I breast fed both of my kids until they were 6 months old, I probably would have nursed them longer, but they both were more interested in the sippy cup by that age and the less they nursed the less milk I produced. So when she said she wasn't sure if she was going to breast feed or bottle feed, I was confused. Why wouldn't you want to? was my thought. I didn't give her the line about "you will have a better bond with your child if you nurse" because I don't believe that, I have several friends that couldn't be closer to their mothers and they were bottle babies. By the time Hayden was born she had decided to give it a try and it lasted about 1 week. She couldn't get him to latch on, so she was trying to pump and just wasn't able to get enough milk to keep him feed. Formula turned out to be his friend.
Yesterday I found out the no one trumps Mom, not even Dad. Hayden's aunt H. (who he has only seen a handful of times in his life) decided she was going to keep him on Friday night. I think there was some sort of motive behind all of this, just not sure what it was. There was no asking, "Do you mind if Hayden spends the night on Friday?" It was a phone call to his Dad stating "I'm going to take Hayden Friday night because I want to take him to the family thing on Saturday" Dad said Okay, (he's thinking ~yeah a peaceful nights sleep~) Mom said Hell no!! because he's too little to be spending the night with people he barely knows. Mom was afraid he would wake up in the middle of the night and be scared and feel abandoned and she didn't want her baby upset. My first thought was if Aunt H. wants to show off a baby, she should have one for herself. That turned into a huge fight between Mom and Dad and Mom and Aunt. I told her to compromise, take Hayden over on Saturday mid-morning and let him play with his Aunt and Cousin A. for a few hours. So that compromise was offered and turned down flat! Aunt H. wanted all or nothing, so she got nothing! Hayden slept peacfully and soundly in his own bed last night. I later found out that Aunt H. is wanting to have another child, but her new husband isn't sure he wants a baby. She wanted to practice with Hayden.
My daughter may be a young mother, but she's an awesome mother. Very loving, caring and nurturing to her little boy. She's involved in his day, playing with him on the floor, teaching him new things all the time. He's learning to talk, walk and is even learning sign language. He's a very happy boy and very loved. Just remember, a baby needs people in his life, it's great to have grand parents, aunts, uncles, and extended family and friends. But when it's time for decisions to be, whether they are the big decision or just little decisions. No one trumps Mom!